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Culture Shock

Fantasy Football: Zak Berliner Dishes Out Awards Before Week 12

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the First Annual BerlinAwards! I’m Zak Berliner your host, master of ceremonies, and benefactor of these glorious awards, given to the most outstanding NFL players in Fantasy Football. It takes a lot of grit and effort (and sometimes ineptitude) in order to come away with one of these coveted awards. We have four awards to give out today, so, without further ado, let’s get on with the show!

Our first BerlinAward is not too glamorous: the Biggest Disappointment Award. This “honor” goes to the player that has fallen shortest of his preseason expectations and predictions. The nominees are: Tom Brady, Ray Rice, Trent Richardson, C.J. Spiller, Mike Wallace, and David Wilson. The BerlinAward goes to……David Wilson! Unfortunately, Wilson could not join us tonight because he is resting in bed. Unfortunately, Wilson’s spinal stenosis, a narrowing of the spinal column, has ended his season. However, up until the end of his season, he was painfully atrocious. Before the beginning of the season, Wilson was predicted as the 17th running back in the NFL. It was also predicted that he would score 10 points per game. This season, Wilson’s 17.4 total fantasy points ranks 78th among all running backs. That is a drop in rank by a whopping 61 spots! Wilson has only averaged 3.48 points per game, far short of his predicted 10. When it comes to disappointment, Wilson is the runaway champion!

Next we will give out our Biggest Surprise Award, given to the player that his most surpassed his preseason expectations. The nominees are: Jordan Cameron, Nick Foles, Josh Gordon, Terrelle Pryor, Philip Rivers, and Julius Thomas. The BerlinAward goes to………….Julius Thomas! Thomas has set the league on fire this season, cementing his place as one of the game’s best tight ends. His 11.9 points per game has shattered his preseason prediction of four points per game. His 119 total fantasy points is second among tight ends to the great Jimmy Graham, and his ranking of second far exceeds his expected rank as 20th among tight ends. This product of Portland State University has definitely earned this award.

Our next award is the Rookie of the Year Award, given to the season’s most outstanding fantasy rookie in regard to both total fantasy points scored and fantasy points per game. The nominees are: Giovani Bernard, Mike Glennon, Eddie Lacy, E.J. Manuel, Geno Smith, and Zac Stacy. And the BerlinAward goes to………Mike Glennon! This season, Glennon has surpassed or equaled all the other rookie quarterbacks in all major passing categories. Glennon has an average completion percentage of 62.1 percent, surpassing that of both Manuel (58.5 percent) and Smith (56.3 percent). Glennon has thrown for an average of 219 yards per game and 1.57 passing touchdowns per game. Both these numbers surpass those of Manuel and Smith. In fact, the only category in which Glennon does not surpass Manuel is interceptions, where they tie with an average of 0.57 picks per game. Mike Glennon is fourth among all rookies in total fantasy points with 98.2, and his 14.03 points per game is tops among rookies. Congratulations to the pride of NC State!

It is time for our final award, the highly coveted Fantasy Football MVP Award. This award is given to the best player in fantasy football in total points scored and points per game. The BerlinAward for Fantasy Football MVP goes to………..Peyton Manning, quarterback for the Denver Broncos! Manning has been completely unbelievable this season, topping the NFL in both total fantasy points (258.18) and fantasy points per game (25.818). He has torched the league for an average of 357.2 passing yards and 3.4 passing touchdowns per game. He has an average completion percentage of 69.9 percent, and he has only thrown 0.6 interceptions per game. Peyton Manning has had one of the best seasons a quarterback has ever had, and the season is not even over; therefore, he is entirely deserving of the Fantasy Football MVP Award.

Those are all the awards we have for the First Annual BerlinAwards. I’d like to offer congratulations to all of tonight’s winners. I’d also like to thank the audience for tuning in for the best awards show in fantasy sports.

-Zak Berliner

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